1. |
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I've been fighting
To stay above the water,
But the ocean's grown cold and dark.
A carousel,
Spinning candied lights
In endless circles, just like
Dreams.
Caught in the maelstrom
My soul is tossed like a ship at sea.
I have grown marked with pain,
Still I live - I'm trying to breathe.
Trying to breathe.
My soul will survive this.
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2. |
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There’s propaganda playing in my hotel room
A radio buzzing down the hall
Pictures tilted slightly
Can never tell if they’re watching
With their wires and cameras tapping into the drywall
Maybe I’m paranoid
Or maybe I drank too much
Or maybe it’s the lack of rest
But it feels like everyone is out to get me
Maybe it’s best that I’ve recessed
Into this state where I just sit alone
Door locked chair against the handle
After being alone with your thoughts so long
It gets hard to think from any other angle
And ever since I learned my truth
The world seems so much greyer
There’s no way to escape
His soul crushing gaze
In the end they’ll find out and expose me as a traitor
Or take me away
Erase my life
Past present future endeavors
Looks that seemed unimportant before now simply make me waver
Even the ones I trust can’t be to keep it under wraps
When there’s constant surveillance
And subservient soldiers
Always ready to attack
So I’ll hope for a better day where I’ll believed
Or can escape to a place where I’m free to think
For myself without fear of the big guns
Or the consequence of wanting what’s best for me
Till then I’ll sit and listen to the bombs drop
Listen to the radio buzzing on and off
Stare of into space
And watch the news on the telescreen
Then a knock on the door and the buzzing it stops
Television goes dark and the world becomes silent
Hear nothing but my own heart pounding out of my chest
Then a bang on the door and I squeeze my eyes shut
Grip tight to nothing
Wait for the inevitable
Gun places to my head
Cocked loaded and ready
Apartment surrounded and there’s no way out
I give a sigh of defeat and put hands above head
Cause there’s no way it wouldn’t have ended like this
Trapped where I caught myself
Police on all sides
Hear a familiar voice and look up from the floor
The doctor looks down, a sneer in his eyes
You’ve done this to yourself now admit defeat
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3. |
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|
I'm still looking for the perfect words
To heal your wounds and stitch your cuts
And ice your bruises
I'm afraid they may never come around
But I'm sure that's not true
The things you doubt always do
They just take time
We like to lie
To ourselves that things will always be bad
Cause secretly we are suckers for
A good tragedy
You made my shirt wet from crying on my chest
I wish I could make all the bullshit go away
I wish I could convince you it gets better
Cause I swear to you it does
But you can hold onto me
As long as you need
I'll be your life raft in the sea
It's getting late but there's a promise that I intend to keep
Cause you are way more important than getting sleep
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4. |
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|
My steps were quick but hesitant,
And the holes in my shoes mimed
that my feet were cold, but fine.
Until I got a view of it,
and those shoes turned to ashes,
And your warmth wrapped around it’s skin.
I’m unfamiliar with this house,
And the ground that it’s built on.
And the windows scream and shout,
“It’s okay, your home now”
I’ll be okay, I’ll be okay now.
Your steps were soft but present,
and ascent was as beautiful
as when I found myself at the door.
When I rang, I sensed no bitterness,
Just a smile and a nod
That left me, left me reassured
I’m unfamiliar with this house,
And the ground that it’s built on.
And the windows scream and shout,
“It’s okay, your home now”
I’ll be okay, I’ll be okay now.....X2
|
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5. |
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6. |
Be Brave - Bad Planning
03:38
|
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|
If I have this pain
That should serve a purpose
I wonder what bad thing
I did to deserve this
I broke down bad habits to build something new
Cause all the drugs we did loved me and not you
I’m invisible, an after thought, the kind you throw away when hearts open up
As sad as it may seem it’s a dependent clause that states that I’m someone who you never loved
Cause all these things get stuck together makes it harder to forget her, maybe I’d have better luck if I didn’t find such stormy weather
You started making me shake
Now that I started to think
Then when I got out
All I was told
Was if my heart is broken it’s replaceable
But I don’t wanna live in this cruel fucked up world
If there’s no one to share it with I’d rather not get old
Cause all these things get stuck together makes it harder to forget her, maybe I’d have better luck if I didn’t find such stormy weather
You had me climb a tall steel tower
Begged the sky for lightening bolts
Wait for clouds to rain cold showers and tell them the last fucking lie that you told
You started making me shake
Now that I started to think
I heard that you’re struggling, mental health suffering
It’s hard to give a shit when you just can’t afford a fucking thing
But in all these things, I still see the light
A sign of hope that holds the truth
We’re gonna be alright
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7. |
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|
Big brother's always watching, oh, you haven't heard?
Securing all your info, every single word
It's just the current state of how we really live
Kiss privacy goodbye cause you have cash to give
We pay these influencers money they don't earn
Some are abusers but they'll get what they deserve
We've got some groups out there that spread a lot of hate
But it's so obvious they'll meet the same fate
Goddamn, goddamn
I am the son of sam
Things are abnormal in the good old USA
Goddamn, goddamn
I am American
It's getting harder just to live here everyday
Some people hate me for the color of my skin
Well f*ck you, snowflake, I don't know what I did
We're all the same it's just a fact that people miss
Some just don't listen, baby, ignorance is bliss
Goddamn, goddamn
I am the son of sam
Things are abnormal in the good old USA
Goddamn, goddamn
I am American
It's getting harder just to live here everyday
Goddamn, goddamn
I am the son of sam
Things are abnormal in the good old USA
Hell yeah, hell yeah
I am American
It's getting harder just to live here everyday
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8. |
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|
Sitting here bored in my room
Not much else left to do
Can’t spend another night alone
In this house that’s not a home
Think I’m losing my mind
Got no direction or sense of time
Go to bed at sunrise
My head spins close my eyes
I miss seeing friends
I wanna go back and see everyone of them again
I miss going out
I wanna get out of this god damn house right now
I miss feeling safe
Oh everything is changing and the world seems to be falling apart
It’s gotta get better (x4)
|
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9. |
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10. |
Coronary - Coronary
01:09
|
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|
BLOOD IS PUMPING
STRAIGHT TO MY FUCKING BRAIN
I CAN’T STAND IT
BECAUSE OF YOU IM GOING INSANE
I CAN’T STAND IT, IM GONNA KILL THEM ALL
BLOOD IS BURNING IN MY BRAIN
I CAN’T TAKE IT, THE WORLDS INSANE
VIOLENCE, HATE, RAPE OF THE WORLD
EXPLOITING EVERY BOY AND GIRL
I CAN’T STAND IT, I’M GONNA KILL THEM ALL
FEEL THE PRESSURE EAT ME UP
THIS WORLD IS SHIT AND I AM GIVING UP
IT BEATS MY BRAIN, MY HEART IS GONNA BURST
TODAY IS BAD, TOMORROW’S FUCKING WORSE
MY HEART IS PUMPING WAY TOO FAST
DON’T KNOW HOW LONG IT CAN LAST
DISREGARD MY OWN HEALTH
YOUR STUPIDITY EQUALS MY DEATH
I CAN’T STAND IT, MY HEART IS GONNA BURST
|
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11. |
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12. |
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|
I went walking down the street
And a woman came and hugged me
She said don’t you worry son
Soon the day will come
And you’ll get out and you’ll get clean
I went down a different block
To see if I could get lost
And a kid ran across the street
He said hey man please
Could you toss the ball back to me
I could used some company
Cuz soon will all be free
In an endless company
And we won’t have to be lonely
And I can’t even go to work
Said the tax man who’s probably a jerk
He said you need to quarantine
So people will re-elect me
Oh he is so perverse
Oh no he doesn’t care all
He would love to see us fall
So long as he can go to work
Then a dog came up to me
And he barked as if to say
Hey man why are you so blue
What else do you have to do
Now shut up and pet me
An old lover said to me
Oh darling don't worry
Oh it’ll all be over soon
And heaven there a room
Where the no ones ever lonely
And you sit in there and play for me
Oh and everyone will sing
From the rafters to the wings
And you’ll sing for all eternity
Oh i will get clean
And the women i had seen
Will be angel who abides in me
And she’ll sit down and talk to me
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13. |
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|
It's always easier
When it's someone else
It's not me
It's someone else
Not my family
I don't know them
Stay inside
It's not like them
Hide away
From ghosts in the streets
Maybe come over
Maybe for a bit
Hear them coming
From miles away
They don't care about us
Don't listen to what they say
I know you're alright
I know you're fine
Stay inside
Don't stay inside
Plastic checkpoints on the corner
Supply and demand
Brainwashed and canned
The world isn't falling apart
This is just how things are
New normal life
Every once awhile I
Lose control of my mind
I lost control of my mind
I happen to believe
We all are paid for
Blood drips
Sanctified us
I feel trapped inside
Perception is off one by one
I can't breathe inside
My lungs cut one by one
Find hard to love
I find it hard to lust
I can't wait for
Another breakdown
|
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14. |
||||
|
Well I'm no expert
But if you ask me
I'd say that everything
Is gonna be alright
We'll rest and the sun will rise again
We'll rest and rise
Well I won't pretend
It's all sunshine and butterflies
But if you go outside
And walk through the trees
It's almost as if everything
Hasn't changed
But it rained hard today
With the odds stacked against you
You keep your eyes straight in front of you
You never look behind
You keep a steadfast mind
If it doesn't make sense then
It will once it's in the past tense
It takes time for things to come
We all crawl before we run
I guess this is all part of the process
I guess we all gotta learn somehow
To find bliss in the eternally absurd
You just have to know where to search
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Songs From the Quarantine - PPE Benefit Comp
A compilation of Chicagoland artists to help healthcare workers during the corona crisis. All proceeds go to donateppe.org
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